made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
He kissed a someone with a penis
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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