Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize