dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
It's rum buckets o'clock
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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