There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
