So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
