If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Randomize
