Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
