i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
