If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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