I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
