ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
