What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize