Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
