I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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