Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
wrigley field is MILF paradise
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
