You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize