is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
