best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
