yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
