Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
