I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Less talking, more tequila
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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