DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
