Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
