He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize