I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
