He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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