My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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