in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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