jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
