I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Randomize
