Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
