New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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