At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
