Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize