I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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