Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
