i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
She's like a pop up book from hell.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
