Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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