oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
