Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Randomize