Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
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