Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
You're like the curious george of whores
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
