She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i may or may not be watching the land before time
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
