I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
