And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
