If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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