There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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