we have officially lost it.
We're like a lot better than the average bears
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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