can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
