Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
