the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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