i think i have herpe
just one?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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