i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
