i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
