Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
