What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
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