did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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