Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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