hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
she smelled like a LAN party
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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