I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
He passed out mid-signature
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
