paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
