i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
