that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
