i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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