somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Sober January is a disaster.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
