um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
